Hi, my name is Kyoko!
I often get asked, how did I meet my husband?
So, I would like to share our story.
We met in Japan while my husband, Jackson was working as an Assistant Language Teacher in Japanese schools. He joined the Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) program and came to Japan right after graduating from university.
We met through our mutual Japanese friend. She became friends with an ALT teacher at an Izakaya (Japanese pub) in Chiba, and they started hanging out together. The ALT teacher started inviting my friend to house parties, a ski trip, etc., and my friend became friends with a whole group of ALT teachers.
One day, my friend decided to visit Shinokubo, a famous Korean town in Tokyo, to enjoy Korean food. She invited other ALT friends, too, and Jackson joined the day trip to Tokyo.
At that time, I was working and living in Tokyo. My friend barely spoke English. I had lived in the UK for a year and a half for my studies and could speak a little bit of English, so she decided to invite me too.
We met in a Korean restaurant for the first time. On that day, I was very much hungover and looked terrible. I did not expect anything romantic. Also, I had a boyfriend at that time. My first impression of Jackson was just a young boy studying Japanese hard and easy to talk with. We got along well, skipping on the snowy road together, but we didn’t exchange LINE or any other SNS.
After that, I occasionally got invited to parties and outdoor events of the ALT community, and Jackson was sometimes there. If we saw each other, we said Hi and had a small talk, but nothing more than that.
We got to know each other better when we went on a trip to Nagano as a group. On the first day, we went to Kamikochi, and went mountain climbing on the second day. The mountain we climbed was Jyonen-dake and was 2,857m high (approx. 9,373 feet).
An incident happened there. When we reached the top of the mountain, it had already passed midday, and we started going down around 2 or 3 pm. It got dark on the way back, and one of the friends strained a muscle and couldn’t walk well without being supported. We walked very slowly with small lights, ringing a bear bell. Girls were crying and a couple got into an argument, etc. It was a terrible experience. My husband had experiences with Boy Scouts and took the lead, cheering up everyone. My trust in him had built up through the experience. Fortunately, we could get back safely, and our bond became strong as a group of friends.
Still, we had nothing romantic. Jackson is 5 years younger than me, and I didn’t see him as a love interest. Jackson knew that I had a boyfriend at that time, so he didn’t see me in that way either.
A few months later, we had a Halloween party at a campground, and we got closer that day. The group was huge, and more than 30 people were at the party. At night, we were drinking and enjoying games. People were gradually fading out, and I remember talking and laughing so hard with Jackson, watching the campfire. I couldn’t remember what we were talking about, but I did remember we had a good time.
On the following day, he asked me to go on a date. It was not long after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, and I wasn’t interested in starting a new relationship. Plus, I still wasn’t attracted to my husband romantically. I was confused about my feelings. I could not deny the fact that I enjoyed the night, and I liked him as a friend. In the end, I decided to go on a date. Through my friendship with him, I knew that he was someone I could trust and he was a good guy.
The first date was at a cute cafe, and we went to a park afterward. Knowing it was a date, I started seeing him as a potential date. It was a very cold day, and we sat down on the bench using his scarf as a blanket together. We had a good time.
Since then, we started messaging every day and went on a few more dates. At some point, I needed to bring up a serious conversation, like I was only interested in a serious relationship, I wanted to have kids in the near future, my health, etc. I was already in my 30s, and we had quite a bit of age gap. I didn’t want to go any further if we were looking for something different. He took everything seriously and listened to me sincerely. We didn’t know how the relationship would go, but we decided to continue seeing each other. There was no Kokuhaku between us, but I didn’t need to worry about anything. I already had a serious conversation with him about the future, and he quickly introduced me to his family on a video chat. Also, as I studied in the UK, I knew that the dating culture was very different from Japan. Above all, I could tell from how he treated me every second.
We had been seeing each other almost every weekend and married 2 years later. This is our story.
My other friend met her Australian boyfriend at a small pub, saving him from drunk Japanese people, and the other friend met through a dating App. Also, I have a friend who met his American girlfriend through a language exchange. There are many international couples in Japan, especially in Tokyo. I don’t recommend jumping into international relationships unless you meet someone you really like though, you won’t know where you meet “The One”!